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So, I'm on this dating site, scrolling through profiles, and everyone is into hiking and traveling. I'm just here thinking, can we have a category for people who enjoy the adventurous journey from the bed to the fridge?
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Dating apps have these algorithms that claim to find your perfect match. I'm starting to think mine is set to "randomly select someone and see what happens." It's like playing relationship roulette.
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I realized dating sites are like job interviews, but with a much more unpredictable boss – your heart. Imagine if job interviews had profile pictures; "Sorry, your qualifications are great, but we're looking for someone with a more flattering LinkedIn photo.
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I matched with someone on a dating site, and we had great chemistry online. But then we met in person, and it turns out our chemistry was more like two chemicals that should never be mixed – like oil and water, or me and mornings.
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Dating profiles should have a section for "Skills," where you can proudly list things like "expert at finding the TV remote" or "world champion in pretending to listen.
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I asked a friend for advice on my dating profile, and he said, "Just be yourself." So now my profile says, "Expert at binge-watching, mediocre cook, and aspiring nap enthusiast. Swipe right for dad jokes.
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You know, I tried out a dating site recently. It's like online shopping, but for relationships. I was half expecting a "30-day free trial" option, but apparently, that's called a first date.
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On dating sites, they ask for your relationship status. I'm tempted to write, "Currently avoiding all eye contact and responsibilities." I mean, isn't that the most accurate status for most of us?
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You ever notice that on dating sites, people describe themselves as "easygoing" and "down-to-earth"? But after a few dates, you realize they're more like "complicated" and "living on a different planet.
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