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I went to a psychic with a crystal ball the other day. She told me I have a bright future, but I should invest in more comfortable shoes. Apparently, comfortable shoes are the key to success. Who knew?
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I tried gazing into a crystal ball once, and you won't believe what I saw. My future self, sitting on the couch, binge-watching Netflix. So apparently, my crystal ball is just a really expensive mirror.
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You know you're getting old when you use a crystal ball to predict the weather. "Let me consult my mystical orb... yup, looks like rain. Or maybe that's just a smudge. Hard to tell.
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Crystal balls are like the mood rings of the wizarding world. Imagine a wizard on a first date: "Hold on, let me check my crystal ball. Oh, it says we're going to have a magical time. Well played, crystal ball.
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Crystal balls are like the fortune cookies of the mystical realm. You crack one open, and instead of a fortune, it just says, "Reply hazy, try again." I guess even the supernatural has its off days.
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Crystal balls are like the ancient version of swiping right on Tinder. Imagine if Merlin had a crystal ball profile – "Magician with a love for long walks in enchanted forests and turning people into newts. Swipe left if you can't handle magic.
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You ever notice how a crystal ball is like the original magic eight ball for adults? Instead of shaking it for answers, we just stare into it and hope it reveals the winning lottery numbers. Spoiler alert: it doesn't.
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You ever notice how crystal balls are always portrayed as these mysterious, magical objects? I got one on Amazon, and the only thing it predicts accurately is when my next Amazon package will arrive.
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I asked my crystal ball if I'd ever become a millionaire. It replied, "Outlook not so good." I guess it's not just for predicting the future; it's also great at crushing your dreams.
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