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Lost Luggage
Dealing with lost luggage during cross-country travel
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I had to explain to the airline staff that my suitcase has a severe case of wanderlust. It's not lost; it's just out there exploring the world without me. I'm just giving it some space.
GPS Misadventures
Navigating the quirks of GPS systems during cross-country journeys
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I love how GPS says, "You've arrived at your destination" when you're still in the middle of nowhere. I'm expecting a grand entrance, and all I get is a dirt road and a couple of confused cows. Thanks for the VIP treatment.
Airport Security Olympics
Navigating the challenges of airport security during cross-country flights
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I love how they tell you to remove your belt, shoes, and jacket like you're about to walk the runway. The only runway I'm on is the one leading to my gate, and I'm stumbling because my pants are falling down. Fashion week at the airport is a struggle.
Hotel Pillow Wars
The ongoing battle with hotel pillows during cross-country stays
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I asked the hotel staff if they had memory foam pillows, and they said, "Sure, every pillow in the building has a memory. It remembers the last person who drooled on it." Now, I'm not sure if I want a memory foam pillow or amnesia.
Rest Stop Roulette
The dubious choices at rest stops during a cross-country road trip
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You know you're at a sketchy rest stop when the vending machine has a better selection of snacks than the gas station. It's like, "Do I want Doritos from 2017 or a mystery sandwich that may or may not be older than my grandparents?
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