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Joke Types
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Why don't crabs ever lend money? Because they're clawful at keeping track!
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Why did the crab join a band? Because it had the best claws for percussion!
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Why was the crab embarrassed at the party? Because it saw the lobster dipping into the sauce!
Crabby Day at the Beach
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You know you're having a bad day when you go to the beach, and the only thing you catch is a crab pinching your toe. I screamed, people gathered around, and I'm like, I just wanted to be shell-fish, not shell-pinch!
Crab and the Hair Salon
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I went to get my hair done, and the stylist says, I'm gonna give you beach waves. I come out looking like a crab's shell! I'm like, Is this the new 'crustacean chic' or did I just get lost in translation?
Crab vs. Technology
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I tried teaching my grandma how to use emojis. I'm like, Look, this one's a crab! She goes, That's not a crab, it's a sideways spider. I'm like, Grandma, trust me, it's a crab. She goes, Well, in my days, crabs didn't text, they pinched!
Crab Walks Into a Bar
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You ever hear about the crab that walked into a bar? Bartender looks at him and says, Sorry, we don't serve seafood here. Crab snaps back, That's okay, I find your place a little shellfish anyway!
Crab at the Gym
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I saw a crab at the gym the other day. I was like, What are you doing here? He goes, Just trying to get beach body ready. I said, But you're a crab! He goes, Yeah, I'm clawing my way to those abs.
Crab's Self-Defense Class
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I heard about this crab taking a self-defense class. I was like, How's that going? He goes, Pretty good, I've mastered the art of crab-chi. Nobody messes with my pincers now!
Crabby Culinary Choices
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I was on a blind date once, and the guy took me to a seafood restaurant. He's like, Try the crab, it's amazing! I said, Oh, sorry, I'm allergic to shellfish. He's like, Come on, live a little! So, I did. Spent the rest of the night looking like a puffer fish, but hey, at least I tried to be shell-fish-ionable!
Crab and Relationship Advice
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My friend asked me for advice on her relationship. She's like, How do I get him to commit? I said, You gotta be like a crab. She's like, What? I said, Hold onto him tightly, and if he tries to leave, just pinch him!
Crabby Neighbors
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I've got these neighbors, they're always so crabby. I invited them over for a barbecue, and they brought a lobster. I said, What's this? They go, We're trying to bridge the gap. I'm like, Guys, lobsters and crabs? That's a shell of a party!
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