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The Crabby Relationship Advisor
Offering relationship advice with crabs as metaphors.
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I tried using crabs as a metaphor for commitment, but it backfired. Apparently, saying, "Stick with your partner like a barnacle on a boat" doesn't scream romance.
The Crab Whisperer
Communicating with crabs is tricky, but I'm determined.
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My friends asked me if I could really communicate with crabs. I told them, "Well, I asked a crab how its day was, and it just gave me the silent claw treatment.
The Crab's Perspective
Humans keep invading my beach space.
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Humans are so obsessed with finding seashells. We crabs consider them our personal property. I've started leaving tiny eviction notices inside the shells I've claimed.
The Clumsy Crab Catcher
Trying to catch crabs without looking like a seafood circus act.
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I told my friend I was going crab hunting. They thought I meant some exotic adventure. Little did they know, it's just me, a net, and a reputation for being the clumsiest crab catcher in town.
The Crab Restaurant Critic
Reviewing crab restaurants while trying not to offend the crustaceans.
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I went to a fancy crab place, and they served me a tiny crab on a massive plate. I asked the waiter if the crab was on a diet, and he said it was a "minimalist presentation." I call it a shell shock.
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