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What do you call it when Count Sesame tells a joke? A 'fang'-tastic punchline! His humor always bites, but in a good way!
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How does Count Sesame keep his hair so neat? With a 'count'-less supply of bat gel! It gives his hair that perfect spooky swoop.
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Why did Count Sesame become a chef? He wanted to perfect the art of 'count'-ry cooking! Garlic is always his secret ingredient.
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Why did Count Sesame refuse to play hide and seek? Because every time he tried, he ended up being a real 'count' out!
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What's Count Sesame's favorite type of movie? A 'count'-down thriller! The suspense always keeps him on the edge of his coffin.
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What's Count Sesame's favorite sport? Bat-minton! He loves the sound of the 'count'-ing birdies at night.
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Why did Count Sesame go to the bakery every day? He wanted to 'count'-eract his fear of garlic bread! Now he's a fan of the 'count'-erbalance.
Count Sesame
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Ever notice how Count Sesame always counts in a creepy voice? Like, who counts their cookies like they're reciting an incantation? One cookie, ah-ah-ah! Two cookies, ah-ah-ah! I mean, what's next? He starts hyperventilating over a dozen? And imagine if he meets someone who can’t count... it's like a math horror movie for him!
Count Sesame
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So, Count Sesame’s trying this new dating app for vampires. His profile says, I love long walks in the moonlight and counting the seconds till sunrise. I mean, it's not a great strategy. His opening line is literally, I vant to suck your... tomato sauce! I don’t think he’s getting many matches.
Count Sesame
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So, I caught Count Sesame at the supermarket the other day. He was in the bakery section, staring at the cookies like he was plotting world domination. I swear, I thought I saw him whispering, Tonight, we dine in crumb-ber! I just wanted some chocolate chip cookies, not to get recruited into a snack rebellion!
Count Sesame
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I tried hiring Count Sesame as my accountant once. Big mistake. He was so focused on counting cookies instead of dollars, I ended up with a financial statement that said, You owe me three chocolate chips and a bag of flour. I guess that's what happens when you hire a vampire to balance your checkbook.
Count Sesame
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I invited Count Sesame to a Halloween party last year. He showed up dressed as a cookie jar! I mean, talk about self-identification issues. He kept introducing himself as Cookie Keeper of the Night. I think he was trying to blend in, but he just looked like a misplaced snack dispenser.
Count Sesame
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I heard Count Sesame got banned from the farmers market. Apparently, he was trying to convince everyone that garlic bread was the latest organic superfood. People were like, Dude, we know you're a vampire, but don’t try to turn us into one with your garlic propaganda!
Count Sesame
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You know, I heard Count Sesame recently got into a turf war with the Cookie Mafia. Apparently, they've been fighting tooth and crumb over who gets to rule the snack underworld. I mean, it’s getting serious, folks. I heard they’re now dipping their biscuits in holy water, trying to ward off the milkshake hits. It’s getting batty out there!
Count Sesame
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You know, Count Sesame’s castle got repossessed last month. Turns out, he forgot to pay his garlic bread mortgage. Now he's crashing at the local cookie jar, trying to blend in. I mean, imagine a vampire hiding in a cookie jar - that’s a crumb-covered disaster waiting to happen!
Count Sesame
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You ever notice how Count Sesame always avoids Sesame Street? I mean, he’s a vampire allergic to sunlight, surrounded by a street named after the thing that’s his kryptonite. I bet he’d rather be caught sucking on a garlic bulb than wandering down that sunny lane!
Count Sesame
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You know, Count Sesame's favorite game is Monopoly. But instead of buying properties, he just keeps trying to buy the utilities - like, Electric Company, ah-ah-ah! Water Works, ah-ah-ah! I guess he's planning for a blackout so he can snack in peace without worrying about garlic bulbs lighting up the place.
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