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Why did the coronavirus refuse to play cards? It was tired of dealing with the hand it was given!
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Why did the coronavirus enroll in school? It wanted to learn some new mutations!
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Why did the coronavirus go to therapy? It had too many issues with its spike proteins!
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Why did the coronavirus apply for a loan? It wanted to boost its interest!
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What did the coronavirus say to the vaccine? 'You make me feel so immune-tastic!
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What's the coronavirus's favorite band? Aerosmith – because it loves living on the edge!
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Dating during a pandemic is like playing chess with someone who knows all your moves. 'So, do you have any hobbies?' 'Well, I've perfected the art of staring into the void for hours.' That's a crowd-pleaser, right?
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Coronavirus, the only thing spreading faster than gossip in a small town. I mean, even introverts are like, 'Can we go back to the good old days when the only thing contagious was laughter?'
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They say laughter is the best medicine, but have they tried telling that to my WiFi during a virtual comedy show? It's like, 'Sorry, your connection is unstable.' Well, my mental stability is also pretty shaky right now!
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I miss the days when 'mask' only referred to something you put on for Halloween. Now, we're all walking around looking like we're about to rob a stagecoach. 'Give me all your toilet paper and hand sanitizer!'
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I tried social distancing, but my fridge is not on board with the concept. It's been keeping a close relationship with me, especially during those quarantine movie marathons. We're practically inseparable now – like peanut butter and jelly, or quarantine and snacks.
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Coronavirus has turned us all into hand sanitizer connoisseurs. 'Ah, yes, this one has subtle notes of aloe vera with a hint of panic.' I never thought I'd be judging a sanitizer like a wine tasting, but here we are.
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Coronavirus made me realize that my true talent lies in avoiding people. I've been practicing social distancing since before it was cool. I guess you could call me a trendsetter in the anti-social arts.
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I've become a master at reading eyes because that's all we have to go on these days. You could be smiling, crying, or secretly plotting to overthrow the government – who knows? It's the real-life version of 'Guess Who?' without the flip cards.
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Is it just me, or did Zoom become the new runway for fashion enthusiasts? Business on top, pajamas on the bottom – it's the mullet of the professional world. I bet the person who invented Zoom is secretly in the comfy pants business.
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