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What did Cleopatra say when she broke up with Julius Caesar? 'It's not you, it's E-Tu, Brute!
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Why did Cleopatra start a gardening club? She wanted to 'grow' her empire.
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Why did Cleopatra break up with Mark Antony? She couldn't stand his 'Roman-tic' gestures.
Cleopatra's Budgeting Tips
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Cleopatra was known for her luxurious lifestyle, but I found her secret budgeting tip. It's called Pyramids: How to Pyramid Scheme Your Way to Financial Success.
Cleopatra's Night Out
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Cleopatra loved a good party. She once said, I don't always go out, but when I do, it's to celebrate a victory or to negotiate a peace treaty. Balance, you know?
Cleopatra's Fashion Statement
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Cleopatra had this iconic fashion sense. She once told me, I always wear gold because you never know when you might need to bribe your way out of a pyramid scheme.
Cleopatra's Tinder Profile
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You know, Cleopatra was on Tinder. Yeah, she had this bio that said, Queen of the Nile, expert snake charmer, looking for someone who can handle my asp-irations.
Cleopatra's Makeup Tutorial
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I was watching this ancient makeup tutorial supposedly done by Cleopatra. She's like, First, line your eyes with kohl. Then, conquer kingdoms. Standard stuff, really.
Cleopatra's Failed Inventions
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Did you know Cleopatra was an inventor too? She tried creating the world's first automatic eyeliner. It didn't work out; it just drew hieroglyphics on her face.
Cleopatra's GPS Troubles
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Cleopatra had a hard time with directions. She told me, I asked the Sphinx for directions once, and it just gave me a riddle. I said, 'I just need to find the nearest Starbucks, not solve the mysteries of the universe!'
Cleopatra's Time-Travel Complaint
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I met Cleopatra the other day in a time-travel experiment. She was not impressed. She said, Wait, no WiFi? I'd rather go back to being bitten by snakes.
Cleopatra's Escape Room Experience
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Cleopatra tried an escape room once. She solved the puzzle, unlocked the door, and said, This is cute. Back in my day, we called it 'escaping assassination attempts.'
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