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Cleopatra ruled Egypt, and I struggle to rule over my own sock drawer. I mean, how did she manage an entire kingdom while I can't even find matching socks in my laundry?
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Cleopatra was known for her mesmerizing beauty, right? I look in the mirror every morning and think, "Maybe if I just wear this sheet as a toga, people will start calling me a timeless beauty too.
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Cleopatra had relationships with powerful men like Julius Caesar and Mark Antony. Meanwhile, I can't even get a text back. I guess the modern equivalent of a powerful man is someone who replies promptly and doesn't leave you on "read.
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Cleopatra reportedly had a love for luxury and indulgence. Meanwhile, I get excited if my snack drawer at work has more than one kind of granola bar. Cleo, you were living the decadent life!
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You know, I was thinking about Cleopatra the other day. Imagine being so famous that thousands of years later, people still talk about your beauty and charisma. Meanwhile, I can't even get a decent selfie without using ten filters and the perfect lighting!
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Cleopatra was famous for her elaborate hairstyles. My biggest hair accomplishment is managing to not look like a drowned rat in the rain. Hats off to you, Cleo, for setting the hair bar so high!
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Cleopatra was the last pharaoh of Egypt, and I struggle to be the last one to leave a party without saying awkward goodbyes. Maybe if I had a majestic headdress, people would understand my grand exit.
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I read that Cleopatra spoke multiple languages fluently. Meanwhile, I struggle to understand the language of my GPS when it says, "In 500 feet, turn left." Like, can you just say, "Take the next left, dummy"?
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Cleopatra's beauty was legendary, but let's be real – if she had to deal with the humidity in my city, even she would've considered a buzz cut at some point. Frizzy hair: the eternal struggle.
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