17 Civil Servants Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Nov 15 2024

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Why did the civil servant bring a map to the office? Because he wanted to navigate the corridors of power!
Why did the civil servant become a chef? He wanted to master the art of cooking the books!
Why did the civil servant bring a ladder to work? Because he heard the job was up-and-coming!
Why did the civil servant apply for a job at the bakery? Because he kneaded a new profession!
Why did the civil servant bring a pencil to the meeting? To draw his own conclusions!
Why did the civil servant become a gardener? He wanted to excel at cutting hedge funds!
Why did the civil servant become a musician? Because he wanted to work in a more harmonious environment!

Civil Service Fitness Program: The Keyboard Marathon

Who needs a gym membership when you can join the civil service fitness program? It's a high-intensity workout called the Keyboard Marathon. They've perfected the art of rapid typing, fueled by the adrenaline rush of impending deadlines. Forget about lifting weights; these guys are lifting the spirits of procrastinators everywhere.

The Unspoken Language of Government Email Signatures

Ever notice the length of government email signatures? It's like they're trying to outdo each other in the signature Olympics. John Doe, Senior Assistant to the Deputy Associate Manager of Interdepartmental Communication and Post-It Note Distribution. I'm convinced some of them add extra titles just to see if anyone's actually reading those emails.

Government Jobs: Where Coffee Breaks are Olympic Sports

I've discovered the secret to excelling in a government job – it's not about your qualifications or skills. It's all about mastering the art of the extended coffee break. I've seen civil servants pull off coffee breaks so long, they could qualify for the Olympic marathon. Move over, Usain Bolt; we've got the Espresso Sprint!

Civil Servants: Masters of the Art of Passive-Aggressive Memos

Civil servants have elevated the passive-aggressive memo to an art form. Kindly be advised that the refrigerator is not a personal storage unit. Your unidentified lunch has been relocated to the abyss of forgotten leftovers. It's like a Shakespearean drama, but with more bureaucracy and fewer sword fights.

Civil Service Meetings: Where Time Goes to Die

If you ever find yourself in a civil service meeting, be prepared for a journey to a parallel universe where time moves at a pace even a sloth would find unbearable. They should hand out medals for surviving those meetings – Gold for staying awake, Silver for not zoning out, and Bronze for resisting the urge to check your phone for the hundredth time.

Civil Servants' Code of Conduct: Deciphering the Unwritten Manual

Ever tried to understand the code of conduct for civil servants? It's like deciphering ancient hieroglyphics. Rule number one: Thou shall nod and smile during meetings, regardless of what's being said. Rule number two: Coffee is not just a beverage; it's a survival tool. And rule number three: The mysterious art of looking busy while doing absolutely nothing.

Civil Service Elevator Etiquette

You know you're in a government building when the elevator stops at every floor, whether someone's getting on or not. It's like a magical ride through bureaucracy, where the elevator has to consult its own flowchart before deciding if it's allowed to ascend or descend. Hmm, should we go up? Better check with the Ministry of Vertical Transportation.

The Mysterious Case of the Vanishing Office Supplies

In the world of civil service, office supplies have a magical ability to disappear faster than a politician's promises after an election. It's like there's an underground black market for pens and sticky notes. I wouldn't be surprised if they're trading paperclips for secret government documents.

Casual Fridays in Government Offices

Casual Fridays in government offices are a rare sight. It's like witnessing a solar eclipse – happens once in a while, and when it does, everyone's just standing there in awe, wondering if it's some kind of celestial event. Is that... jeans? Are those... sneakers? It must be a casual Friday!

Civil Servants: The Real Superheroes

You know, civil servants are like the unsung heroes of our society. I mean, Batman might have a cool cape, but have you seen a government clerk wield a mighty rubber stamp? They're basically the Avengers of paperwork, fighting the never-ending battle against bureaucracy!

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