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I attended a civic meeting last week, and it was so intense, I thought they were casting for a new reality show: "Survivor: Suburbia Edition." The first challenge was convincing Karen to stop proposing a dog park in every available green space.
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At a civic meeting, they asked for volunteers to organize the upcoming street fair. Suddenly, everyone becomes an event planner. "We need a theme!" Susan shouted. "How about 'Potluck Palooza'?" Because nothing says fun like trading casseroles with your neighbors.
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Civic meetings are where the term "community bonding" takes on a whole new meaning. Nothing brings people together like a heated discussion about the placement of recycling bins. It's like a support group for the environmentally conscious.
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You ever been to one of those civic meetings? It's like the United Nations of the neighborhood. We all gather in a room, and suddenly everyone has an opinion on where the stop sign should be. It's the only place where your neighbor, Bob, turns into an urban planning expert.
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Civic meetings are the only place where people passionately debate the fate of a traffic light. I've never seen so much emotion over a red, yellow, and green piece of metal. It's like the Oscars for road signals.
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You ever notice how at civic meetings, people treat the microphone like it's their own personal TED Talk stage? Suddenly, the guy who's usually quiet at the supermarket has a 30-minute speech about the importance of synchronized traffic lights.
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Civic meetings are the only place where you can witness the birth of neighborhood celebrities. Steve, the guy who successfully petitioned for more park benches, is now signing autographs at the local grocery store. Move over, Hollywood!
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I recently attended a civic meeting, and I realized it's the only place where the phrase "budget allocation" can generate applause. Forget comedy clubs; I should perform my stand-up routine at city hall. Guaranteed laughs.
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Civic meetings are like the adult version of show and tell. Everyone brings their complaints, ideas, and occasionally, a diagram of how they think the community garden should be arranged. Spoiler alert: it's always shaped like a smiley face.
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