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You ever notice how every office has a Charlene? You know, the one who brings in homemade treats that taste suspiciously like cardboard but are presented with the enthusiasm of a Michelin-star chef. I swear, Charlene's cookies have more structural integrity than a building made of Legos. Last week, Charlene decided to bless us with her famous casserole. Now, I don't know what kind of dark magic she puts in that thing, but I'm pretty sure one of the ingredients is regret. I took one bite, and suddenly I understood the meaning of life - it's to avoid Charlene's cooking at all costs.
I asked her for the recipe, and she looked at me like I'd just asked for the nuclear launch codes. "Oh, it's a family secret," she said. I'm convinced the secret ingredient is a pact with the kitchen devil. I mean, no human can make broccoli taste that much like punishment.
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We all have that one colleague who has a peculiar way of preparing for meetings. For Charlene, it's like she's gearing up for battle. She arrives 20 minutes early, armed with a stack of color-coded binders, highlighters, and a PowerPoint presentation that could rival a TED Talk. Meanwhile, the rest of us are lucky if we remember to bring a pen. I'm convinced Charlene has a secret society for overachievers, and their initiation ritual involves creating intricate meeting agendas and making everyone else feel wholly inadequate.
But you gotta love Charlene; she brings a level of intensity to the meeting room that makes you question if you accidentally stumbled into a boardroom battle royale. It's like, calm down, Charlene, we're just here to discuss quarterly reports, not overthrow a government.
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You know that section of the office fridge that's like the Bermuda Triangle of lunch items? Yeah, Charlene's the reason for that. I opened the fridge the other day, and I found a Tupperware container with her name on it. Inside? A single slice of pineapple and a half-eaten granola bar. I'm starting to think Charlene uses the office fridge as her own personal time capsule. I mean, who saves a single slice of pineapple for later? What kind of emergency snack situation is she preparing for? The great pineapple famine of 2023?
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Can we talk about Charlene's email etiquette for a second? The woman writes emails like she's penning the next great American novel. I got an email from her the other day that had more twists and turns than a season finale of a soap opera. And don't get me started on her use of emojis. I swear, she thinks she's being subtle, but her emails look like a 14-year-old's first attempt at hieroglyphics. There's more smiley faces and thumbs up than actual words. I'm just waiting for the day she sends an email entirely in emojis and expects us to decipher it like some kind of workplace emoji puzzle.
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