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Charlene is the only person I know who has a dedicated playlist for doing laundry. I mean, who needs a curated soundtrack for separating whites and colors? I just want to wash my socks, not dance the cha-cha.
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I swear, Charlene is the human embodiment of autocorrect. You ask her a simple question like, "How's the weather?" and she starts telling you about her cat's gluten-free diet. Like, Charlene, I just wanted to know if I needed an umbrella!
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You ever notice how every office has a Charlene? You know, the one who microwaves fish for lunch? I mean, I didn't know the breakroom was a seafood restaurant. Charlene, it's Monday morning; we're not ready for a salmon invasion!
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Charlene is the queen of unnecessary email signatures. "Best regards, Charlene. Proud plant parent and weekend ukulele enthusiast." I just wanted to know if the meeting got canceled, Charlene, not your entire life story.
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You ever lend Charlene a book, and when she returns it, it looks like it's been through a war? I didn't realize my novel needed battle scars and coffee stains to reach its full literary potential. Thanks for the unique edition, Charlene.
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Charlene's idea of a potluck is bringing a bag of store-bought cookies and claiming she made them from scratch. Nice try, Charlene, but those chocolate chips have the distinct logo of a well-known brand. We all have Google, you know.
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Charlene is that friend who always claims she's on a diet but then shows up with a bag full of snacks. "Oh, it's just air, I promise." Yeah, Charlene, that's some advanced air engineering you got going on in those potato chips.
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You know you've entered Charlene's territory when you find a pen that's out of ink in every drawer. I don't know what she's plotting with all these useless pens, but I'm starting to suspect a secret society of broken ballpoints.
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Charlene is that one colleague who starts decorating for Christmas in October. I mean, I get it, holiday spirit and all, but I haven't even decided on my Halloween costume yet, and Charlene's already setting up the tree. At this rate, she'll be handing out candy canes on Independence Day.
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Charlene has this magical ability to turn any casual conversation into a lecture about her succulent garden. You could be talking about the weather, and suddenly you're knee-deep in the fascinating world of Charlene's cacti. It's like a green TED Talk, but with more thorns.
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