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I thought about getting a pet fish to keep my cat entertained, you know, as a decoy. But then I realized I'd just be adding insult to injury. It's like telling a bank robber, "Here, take this fake money; leave the real stuff alone.
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I've started using fish-scented air fresheners in my house, just to mess with my cat's head. Now, every time he sniffs the air, he's probably thinking, "Is this a trap, or did my human just become a seafood chef overnight?
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My cat's like the Ocean's Eleven of the animal kingdom. I leave the room for two minutes, and suddenly, my sushi dinner has disappeared faster than my willpower at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
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I've come to the conclusion that cats are culinary connoisseurs. They don't just want any fish; they want the premium, high-quality, straight-from-the-market fish. I'm starting to think my cat has a better palate than I do.
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Ever notice how your cat turns into a master thief when you bring home a fresh catch? I swear, my cat's got a secret life as a feline ninja, plotting the perfect fish heist.
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It's like my cat has a sixth sense for detecting the aroma of seafood. I swear, I could be in the middle of a deep sleep, and the mere thought of fish will wake him up from across the house. It's like a whiskered food radar.
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I'm considering opening a cat detective agency. You know, solving the great mysteries of missing fish in households everywhere. I can see it now: "Whiskers and Watson – Solving the Purr-fect Crimes, One Tuna Can at a Time.
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I tried reasoning with my cat about the fish thefts. I sat him down and said, "Listen, buddy, you're not Garfield, and this is not a cartoon. You can't just swipe lasagna or fish whenever you please." But he just stared at me like, "Challenge accepted.
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I caught my cat red-pawed the other day, just staring at me with this guilty look. I thought he was remorseful, but then I found the missing salmon fillet hidden behind the couch. It's like a feline crime scene in my living room.
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