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Why did the camper bring a ladder to the campsite? Because he wanted to take his camping experience to a whole new level!
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What do you call a bear with no teeth in the camping area? A gummy bear!
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How do you know if a camper is a morning person? They leave their sleeping bag unrolled!
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Campers, the only people who willingly pay to live like they're homeless. 'Let's trade our comfortable beds for a sleeping bag on a rock – said no sane person ever!'
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Campers always talk about connecting with nature, but the only connection I want is Wi-Fi. I don't need to commune with the mosquitoes; I want to download a pizza!
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I tried camping once, and I quickly realized it's just an elaborate excuse to eat marshmallows for breakfast. 'Yes, officer, this is a balanced meal – it's got sugar, sugar, and a hint of sugar.'
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You know you're a camper when setting up a tent becomes your idea of a romantic date. Nothing says love like struggling with poles and arguing over which side is up.
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Campers have this magical ability to turn a simple walk in the woods into a survival mission. I bring a compass; they bring a map, GPS, and a carrier pigeon just in case.
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You ever notice that camping is the only time we pay money to live in a place where going to the bathroom involves digging a hole? 'Nature's calling, and it's asking for a better plumbing system.'
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I asked a seasoned camper for advice, and they said, 'Always leave no trace.' I guess that's why they never invite me back – they can't find any evidence I was ever there!
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Camping is like a real-life version of 'Survivor,' except there's no million-dollar prize, and instead of voting someone off the island, you just hope they brought enough bug spray.
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Campers love telling ghost stories around the campfire, but the scariest part of my camping experience was realizing I forgot the marshmallows. Now that's a real horror story.
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