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Joke Types
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I asked the cashier if they accepted pennies. She said, 'Not unless you give me a good cents!
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I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!
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I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying, 'Ooh, I love how smooth it is!
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I tried to buy a book on patience, but it wasn't in stock. The irony was overwhelming!
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Why did the buyer bring a ladder to the store? Because he heard the prices were sky-high!
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Why did the buyer bring a map to the clothing store? To find the 'waist' of his time!
The Seduction of Free Shipping
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Free shipping has a magical power. You could be hesitating over a $20 purchase, and then you see that magic phrase: Free Shipping on orders over $25. Suddenly, you’re adding things to your cart faster than a squirrel hoarding nuts for winter.
Return Policy Roulette
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Ever bought something, regretted it, and then stared at the return policy like it's a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book? Do I return it and pay the shipping fee? Or keep it and pretend I intentionally bought an inflatable giraffe for my living room decor?
Impulse Buying Regrets
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Ever get into an online shopping spree and end up with a cart full of things you don't need? It's like waking up after a party and finding a pizza in the microwave, a sombrero on your head, and three extra miniature giraffes in your living room. What happened last night?!
Shopping Cart Philosophy
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You ever leave items in your online shopping cart for so long, they start sending you passive-aggressive emails? Hey there, just checking in. Your items miss you. Don’t worry; they're in the cart, contemplating their life choices. You know, just hanging out.
The Wish List Black Hole
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You know you've reached peak adulthood when your wish list becomes less about desires and more about practicality. It's like, “Wow, a vacuum cleaner made it to my wish list. Exciting. Next thing you know, I’ll be dreaming about the perfect sponge for dishwashing!”
Bargain Hunting Woes
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Shopping for deals these days feels like being a detective. You spend hours hunting for discounts, and when you finally find a great price, there's that little voice saying, Is it really a bargain or did they just put a ‘SALE’ sticker on it to tempt me into buying 10 more?
The Buyer's Dilemma
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You ever notice how buying things online is like playing a game show? You make a purchase, and then it's all suspenseful waiting for your package. It's like, Will it be what I ordered? Or will I win a surprise mystery item, like a garden gnome dressed as a disco dancer?
Discount Code Frustration
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Getting a discount code after you've already made a purchase is like finding out you won the lottery a day late. You sit there staring at the screen, contemplating life choices, and wondering if the universe is secretly filming your reactions for a hidden camera show.
The Buyer's Curse
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You know you’re an adult when the most thrilling part of your week is tracking your online order. It’s like a race against time and your own patience. You refresh the tracking page so much you start to believe you have a PhD in Refreshology.
Online Reviews Drama
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You ever read online reviews before buying something and feel like you're judging a talent show? This toaster had great potential, but the audience—aka the buyers—seem divided. Three stars say it's the next Broadway hit, while two stars feel it’s a burnt-out performance.
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