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You ever notice how people can be like Walter White when it comes to making excuses? Breaking Bad, breaking promises – it's all the same. I've got a friend who can come up with excuses faster than Walter White can come up with a new meth recipe. I asked him why he didn't show up to my party, and he goes, "Oh, you know, I was in the middle of something. Busy cooking up plans." Cooking up plans? Dude, you were binge-watching Breaking Bad for the tenth time. I could hear Jesse Pinkman yelling "Yeah, bitch!" in the background.
And when people are caught in a lie, they react like they're in a high-stakes drug deal. Sweating, nervous, trying to talk their way out of it. "No, no, I wasn't out with someone else. I was just with, um, Saul Goodman. Yeah, that's it!"
Breaking Bad habits and breaking promises – it's all about cooking up excuses. I tried it once, and let me tell you, my excuse was as flimsy as a cardboard RV in the desert.
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So, Breaking Bad is that show that makes you root for the bad guy, right? Walter White goes from Mr. Chips to Scarface, and you're sitting there going, "Yeah, Walter, you show 'em!" It's like cheering for a character with a chemistry degree and a criminal record. I realized I have a problem with getting attached to fictional characters. I'm invested in their lives more than my own. Walter White's struggles became my struggles. I'm sitting at home watching, and my mom walks in like, "What's wrong with you?" I'm like, "Walter just lost it, Mom! It's heartbreaking!"
And don't get me started on the finale. I felt like I lost a friend. I'm there in front of the TV, sobbing, and my roommate walks in. He goes, "Dude, it's just a show." But it's not just a show; it's my emotional support Breaking Bad.
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I tried getting into the whole DIY trend, you know, do it yourself. But it turns out, Breaking Bad is not the ideal DIY project. I mean, have you ever tried making your own meth in the kitchen? Not a good idea. The only thing you'll be breaking is bad, bad laws. I'm watching the show, thinking, "I can do this. I have a chemistry set from high school." Spoiler alert: a high school chemistry set doesn't cut it. I'm there mixing random powders, and suddenly my neighbor thinks I'm the neighborhood drug dealer. I'm like, "No, I'm just trying to make blue cupcakes for a Breaking Bad-themed party!"
DIY Breaking Bad is a disaster waiting to happen. If my life were a TV show, it would be Breaking Bad meets Nailed It – a cooking show where everything goes wrong. My DIY meth lab turned into a DIY disaster, and now I'm banned from the kitchen.
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You ever try to break a bad habit? It's like trying to quit a TV show halfway through the season. I mean, have you ever tried to quit a show like Breaking Bad right when Walter White starts embracing his inner Heisenberg? It's impossible! You're hooked, just like I'm hooked on my bad habits. I recently decided to break a bad habit, and I thought I could do it cold turkey. Yeah, right. It's more like cold meth. Breaking Bad habits is tough; it's like going through withdrawal while Walter White is cooking meth in your living room. I'm there shaking, and Heisenberg is making a mess.
And let's talk about those breaking bad habits montages they show on TV. You know, the characters suddenly getting rid of everything related to their bad habits in a fit of determination. So, I tried that with my bad habit. I threw away all the evidence, deleted the contacts, and even burned some metaphorical bridges. But you know what? Breaking Bad habits doesn't come with a suspenseful soundtrack, and there's no Jesse Pinkman saying, "Yeah, science!"
It's more like me staring at the trash can, thinking, "Should I fish that out? Maybe just one last episode... I mean, one last hit?
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