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The Awkward Birthday Song
Deciding how fast or slow to sing
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The awkward pause after singing "Happy Birthday" is the most intense silence you'll ever experience. It's like waiting for the applause after a performance, but instead, you get forced smiles and half-hearted claps.
The RSVP Drama
Dealing with last-minute cancellations and surprise guests
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Surprise guests are like uninvited party crashers, but with good intentions. "Oh, I brought my cousin, Bob. He's into interpretive dance, and I thought he'd enjoy your living room." Thanks, Bob. I always wanted a one-man dance show at my birthday.
Party Decorations
Balancing between "festive" and "tacky"
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The line between classy and chaotic in party decorations is thinner than the birthday candles on a cake. One minute, you have elegant banners; the next, you're attaching glow sticks to your cat.
The Birthday Cake
Everyone fighting for the biggest slice
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I tried to make my birthday cake healthy this year. I replaced sugar with kale. Now nobody wants to come to my parties, and I have a surplus of kale.
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