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Have you ever tried to assemble furniture from a certain Swedish store? It's like they're playing a prank on us. The instruction manual is just pictures, and halfway through, you're surrounded by pieces, thinking, "This was supposed to be a simple shelf, not a big boy jigsaw puzzle!
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You ever notice how microwaves have a "popcorn" button? Who's using that? It's like the microwave is saying, "I've got your back, big boy. Forget reading the instructions; I got this popcorn thing covered." Spoiler alert: it's either burnt or half the bag is still un-popped.
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I saw a sign that said, "Please return shopping carts to the designated area." Like, do they really think a sign will guilt-trip people into doing the right thing? If signs could solve problems, I'd have one in my kitchen that says, "Please wash your own dishes, big boy.
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Why do we call it rush hour when nothing moves? It should be called "big boy shuffle time." You're sitting there in traffic, contemplating life, and suddenly realize you've mastered the art of steering wheel drumming. Congrats, you're now a traffic rockstar.
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Can we talk about self-checkout machines at the grocery store? They're like, "Look at me, big boy, I'm so efficient!" But as soon as you try to scan a bunch of bananas, it becomes a chaotic game of "Is this the produce code or a Sudoku puzzle?
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I bought a "smart" thermostat for my house, but it's so smart that it thinks I'm a polar bear in the Arctic. I set it to a comfortable temperature, and it's like, "Sorry, big boy, you wanted warmth? I thought you were training for a winter marathon.
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You ever notice how shopping carts at the grocery store have that one wonky wheel? It's like they come with a built-in GPS that only directs them to the produce section and straight into your Achilles heel. They should call it the "big boy boogie" because that cart's got moves you never expected.
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I ordered a package online, and the tracking info says it's out for delivery. I'm sitting there like a kid waiting for Santa, but instead of reindeer, it's the big boy delivery guy in a beat-up truck, trying to park like it's a game of Tetris.
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Have you ever noticed that escalators never break; they just become stairs? It's like they're saying, "Sorry for the convenience, big boy. You thought you were gonna glide effortlessly, but now you're on a StairMaster you didn't sign up for.
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