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Joke Types
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What's a bathing suit's favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat!
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Why did the bathing suit apply for a job? It wanted to work in the deep end!
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What did the bathing suit say to the beach? 'Shore do love spending time with you!
Fashionably Late for Summer
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I'm always fashionably late to the summer party because it takes me three weeks to psych myself up for the big reveal in my new bathing suit. By the time I'm ready, it's already pumpkin spice season!
Bathing Suit Blues
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You ever notice how buying a bathing suit is like trying to find a needle in a haystack? I walked into the store, and the only thing skinnier than the straps on those swimsuits was my self-esteem!
The Illusion of Tan Lines
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I bought a new bathing suit with strategically placed cutouts for the perfect tan lines. Now, I just look like a human connect-the-dots puzzle. Next summer, I'm going for the full-on Picasso look.
Mirror, Mirror, on the Beach
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I tried on a new bathing suit, looked in the mirror, and thought, Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? The mirror replied, Honey, not even magic can fix that tan line disaster.
Sunscreen Struggles
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Putting on sunscreen in a new bathing suit is like trying to apply lotion to a balloon. Everything's slippery, and you're just hoping you don't accidentally launch yourself into the neighbor's pool.
Bathing Suit vs. Couch Potato
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Wearing a bathing suit instantly turns me into a fitness guru... on the couch. It's amazing how a piece of spandex can make you reconsider your life choices while binge-watching your favorite show.
The Poolside Fashion Show
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Trying on a bathing suit is like participating in a high-stakes fashion show. I strut in front of the mirror, and my reflection looks back at me like, Are you sure about this? Maybe try a Snuggie instead.
Swimwear Mind Games
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Bathing suits are like Jedi mind tricks. You think you're picking one that flatters your body, but the moment you put it on, it's like, These are not the abs you're looking for.
Swimming or Struggling?
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I decided to take up swimming for fitness. But let me tell you, squeezing into a bathing suit is my daily cardio. If you can't get into it, at least you've had a good workout trying!
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