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You ever notice how baristas have this magical ability to turn a simple coffee order into a Shakespearean drama? "To latte or not to latte, that is the question.
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Baristas are like coffee therapists. You tell them your order, and they respond with, "How are you feeling today? Espresso-ly tired or more of a chai-emotional state?
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Why do baristas always look so serious when they're making coffee? It's like they're performing a top-secret, highly classified government operation. "Agent Cappuccino, we're a go.
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Baristas have mastered the art of multitasking. They can take your order, make your coffee, and judge your life choices all within the time it takes for the espresso machine to finish brewing.
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I appreciate the artistry of latte foam designs, but sometimes I feel like the barista is just showing off. "I ordered a coffee, not a Picasso. Can I get a smiley face next time?
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I told the barista to make my coffee strong enough to wake the dead. Now I have a cup of coffee and a zombie apocalypse survival plan—two birds, one bean.
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I went to a coffee shop the other day, and the barista asked if I wanted my coffee hot or iced. I said, "Surprise me." Now I'm sipping on lukewarm coffee, and the only surprise is my disappointment.
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Have you ever tried to impress a barista by ordering your coffee in another language? I attempted to order a macchiato in Italian, and the barista just looked at me and said, "Sir, this is a Starbucks, not a European vacation.
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I asked the barista for a small coffee, and they handed me a cup that could double as a birdbath. I'm just here for a caffeine fix, not to hydrate the entire bird community.
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