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Why did Bambi start a podcast? He had a lot of fawn-derful ideas to share!
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Why did Bambi go to art school? He had a natural talent for drawing attention!
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Why did Bambi bring a pencil to the forest? To draw his own conclusions!
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Why did Bambi bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
Bambi's Therapy Session
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You know, I heard Bambi started seeing a therapist. Yeah, apparently, he's trying to deal with the trauma of watching his mom disappear faster than a pizza at a Weight Watchers meeting. I can just imagine him on the couch, the therapist asking, How does that make you feel, Bambi? And he's like, Well, doc, it makes me feel like venison, if you catch my drift.
Bambi's Wildlife Talk Show
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Bambi's got his own wildlife talk show now. It's called Oh Deer! His first guest was Thumper, the rabbit. They had this deep conversation about the challenges of having big ears. I tuned in expecting serious wildlife discussions, but it was basically just a forest version of daytime TV.
Bambi's Tinder Profile
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I stumbled upon Bambi's Tinder profile the other day. His bio said, Looking for a doe to share my forest adventures. Swipe right if you like grazing and avoiding hunters. I swiped right just to see if he'd ask, Are you a fawn of mine? Turns out, he's not great at pickup lines either. His opening was, Do you come here often? Well, yeah, Bambi, it's Tinder.
Bambi's Horror Movie Audition
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So, Bambi decided to audition for a horror movie. I mean, really? The only horror he knows is when he sees headlights. Anyway, during the audition, they asked him to scream in terror. You know what he said? I've already been through the scariest moment of my life – the hunting season! They didn't give him the part, but they did offer him a role in a Disney sequel.
Bambi's Gym Workout Routine
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I heard Bambi's trying to get in shape. He hit the gym and started doing squats. You know, to strengthen his hind legs. I'm thinking, Bambi, the only thing you need to squat is behind a tree when you see a hunter.
Bambi's Rap Career
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Guess what? Bambi's dropping a rap album. Yeah, he's spitting bars about life in the forest. His first single is called Deer Life. I listened to it, and it's not bad, but the chorus is just him making deer noises. I mean, it's catchy, but I'm not sure it'll hit the top of the charts.
Bambi's Instagram Page
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Did you guys know Bambi has an Instagram page now? Yeah, he's all about those nature shots. But you know, he's got this one photo where he's posing in the forest, looking all majestic, and the caption says, Just deer things. I commented, Nice rack, Bambi, and now I'm blocked. Guess he couldn't handle a little buck-to-buck banter.
Bambi's Environmental Activism
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Bambi's all about environmental activism these days. He's leading a campaign to save the forests. You know, because he needs a place to hide from hunters. I can already see the slogan: Save the trees, so Bambi can live rent-free in the woods – literally.
Bambi's Stand-Up Comedy Debut
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I heard Bambi tried his hand at stand-up comedy recently. Yeah, his opening joke was a killer: Why did the deer go to the comedy club? To laugh his spots off! I thought it was cute until he made a dad joke about antlers, and we all collectively groaned. Dude, leave the comedy to the professionals, or at least to the ones with opposable thumbs.
Bambi's Cooking Show
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Bambi's hosting a cooking show now. Yeah, it's called Bambi's Bites. The first episode was all about berries and leaves. I tried following his recipe, but it turns out my local grocery store doesn't carry freshly fallen acorns in the produce section. Who knew?
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