4 Jokes For Baked

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Nov 15 2024

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You know, I recently got into baking, and let me tell you, it's been quite the adventure. I'm not saying I'm a great baker, but my smoke alarm is certainly getting a workout. It's like my kitchen is having a constant fire drill.
I decided to make cookies the other day. Simple, right? Well, not for me. I must have misread the recipe because instead of adding a cup of sugar, I added a cup of salt. Yeah, I created the world's first anti-cookie. One bite and you're reaching for a fire extinguisher instead of a glass of milk. I brought them to a potluck, and people were like, "Are these cookies or a new form of seasoning?" Lesson learned: always double-check your measurements, or you'll end up with baked surprises.
Microwaves are supposed to make life easier, right? Well, not in my world. I tried to reheat some leftover pizza, and in my baked brilliance, I decided to put the entire box in the microwave. I thought, "Why dirty another plate?" The result? Let's just say my pizza box is now a modern sculpture, and my microwave is an avant-garde exhibit on what not to do in the kitchen.
I opened the microwave, and smoke billowed out like I had summoned a pizza-loving genie. My kitchen smelled like a pizzeria that had caught fire. So, note to self: pizza boxes and microwaves are not a match made in culinary heaven.
Speaking of baked, I once had a friend who decided to surprise me with pot brownies. Now, I didn't know they were infused, and I innocently gobbled down a couple. Cut to an hour later, and I'm convinced I can communicate with houseplants. I'm in the kitchen, having a deep conversation with my fern, when my neighbor walks in.
He looks at me, looks at the fern, and says, "Are you okay?" I reply, "I'm great! Meet my new friend, Ferny McFoliage." Long story short, I accidentally hosted a botanical therapy session in my kitchen. Thanks for the baked goods, buddy. I've never looked at a brownie the same way again.
You ever try cooking while being, let's say, in an altered state of mind? I attempted to make lasagna after a particularly interesting evening, and let's just say it turned into a psychedelic culinary experience. I started layering the pasta like it was a modern art installation. Each noodle was a brushstroke of confusion.
And don't get me started on the oven. I kept opening it to check on the lasagna, but it felt like I was peering into another dimension. I finally pulled it out, and it looked like a masterpiece—albeit one you'd find in a Salvador Dali painting. Moral of the story: cooking while baked turns your kitchen into a culinary art studio.

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