10 Jokes For Bad Wedding

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Aug 06 2025

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You ever been to a bad wedding? I went to one where the bride and groom's vows sounded more like a negotiation. "For richer or poorer," he said, and she added, "But mostly richer, right?
The wedding I attended had a "unique" unity ceremony. Instead of a candle or sand, they mixed two types of salad dressings. Nothing says eternal love like balsamic vinaigrette, right?
Went to a wedding where the bride insisted on arriving in a horse-drawn carriage. It was charming until the horse got tired and demanded a higher salary for overtime.
I attended a wedding reception where the couple decided to serve pizza. Not a bad idea, but when they cut the pizza with the same knife used for the cake, I knew they were taking shortcuts in more ways than one.
I was at a wedding with a strict budget, and when it came time for the toast, they raised a can of soda instead of champagne. Classy move, but I've never seen anyone so afraid of the carbonation popping!
You can tell it's a bad wedding when the DJ's playlist is just an endless loop of breakup songs. I felt like I was at a divorce celebration instead.
At a bad wedding, the photographer was so disinterested that every picture looked like a candid shot of people regretting their life choices. I've never seen so many forced smiles in my life.
I went to a wedding where the bride tossed a GPS instead of a bouquet. Guess she wanted her single friends to find love with turn-by-turn directions.
Went to a wedding last weekend. The groom was so nervous, he accidentally said, "I take you to be my lawfully wedded Wi-Fi." Guess he's really committed to that connection.
At this one wedding, the best man's speech was so dull, even the cake looked like it was falling asleep. I didn't know "happily ever after" could sound so boring.

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Aug 06 2025

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