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Why did the grape break up with the raisin? It felt squished in the relationship!
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I tried to make a relationship with a pencil, but it kept drawing away from me.
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Why did the math book break up with the history book? There were too many problems in the relationship.
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Why did the lamp break up with the light bulb? It wanted a brighter relationship!
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Why did the computer break up with its partner? It couldn't find a compatible relationship algorithm!
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Why did the scarecrow break up with the cornstalk? It was tired of being stalked!
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Why did the bicycle break up with the unicycle? It was tired of the one-wheel drama!
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Why did the broom leave the relationship? It was tired of getting swept under the rug!
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They say you should find someone who shares your interests. Well, my last relationship was a perfect match because we both had a mutual interest in not being together anymore.
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I recently got out of a bad relationship. You know it's bad when even your dog gives you that judgmental side-eye like, 'Really? Again?'
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Breaking up is hard to do, but have you ever tried deciding where to eat with someone who says, 'I don't know, whatever you want' and then shoots down every suggestion you make? That's a whole other level of heartbreak.
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They say love is blind, but I think in my last relationship, Cupid was legally blind. I mean, did he even aim for the heart or was he just firing arrows blindfolded?
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I tried to be romantic once, but my idea of a romantic gesture is doing the dishes without being asked. Apparently, that's not the key to a successful relationship. Who knew?
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Love is like Wi-Fi. It's either strong and stable, or you end up paying too much for a connection that keeps dropping. Welcome to my last relationship!
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I've learned that 'Netflix and chill' is a dangerous phrase. In my last relationship, it was more like 'Netflix and argue about what to watch until one of us falls asleep angry.'
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I told my ex, 'Let's be like a cloud and drift apart.' Little did I know, it turned into a full-blown thunderstorm with lightning bolts of passive-aggressiveness.
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My last relationship was like a math problem. It started with a lot of problems, and in the end, someone was left feeling divided, and there was a remainder of emotional baggage.
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