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I asked a friend why he wears assless chaps, and he said it's all about freedom. I guess he meant the freedom for his butt to express itself artistically.
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I saw a guy at the store buying assless chaps, and I thought, "Is he planning a cowboy-themed pool party or auditioning for the role of the Lone Ranger's sassy sidekick?
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The great thing about assless chaps is they're versatile. You can wear them to a rodeo, a rock concert, or a BBQ – because nothing says "I'm serious about grilling" like exposed buttocks.
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Wearing assless chaps is like putting a "Kick Me" sign on your rear end. Except in this case, it's more like a "Breeze Me" sign.
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You ever see someone wearing assless chaps and think, "Is that a fashion statement or just an open invitation for a breeze to explore the unknown regions?
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Imagine explaining assless chaps to someone from the past – "Well, you see, it's a fashion choice where you wear leather pants but with a strategic vent for your behind." They'd probably think time travel was a bad idea.
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The problem with assless chaps is they leave very little to the imagination. It's like they're saying, "Hey, here's my outfit, and by the way, here's my strategy for avoiding wedgies.
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I tried wearing assless chaps once, thinking it would make me look edgy. Instead, I just felt like my lower body was having an identity crisis – business up top, party at the bottom.
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I saw a guy jogging in assless chaps the other day. I didn't know if he was training for a marathon or auditioning for a "Baywatch" reboot set in the Wild West.
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