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Why did the Apollo spacecraft break up with its rocket booster? It needed some 'space' from the relationship!
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Why was the Apollo mission so good at basketball? Because they had the 'space' for great leaps!
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Did you hear about the astronaut's favorite candy? Mars-hmallows, Apollo-gies for the pun!
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How does an astronaut throw a party? They 'planet' well, Apollo-gies for the space pun!
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Why was the Apollo spacecraft such a good dancer? It had the right moves for 'moon'-walking!
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How do astronauts serve their drinks? In flying saucers, Apollo-gize for the pun!
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Why did the Apollo astronaut break up with his girlfriend? Because he needed space!
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What did the astronaut say to the angry moon? 'Don't be so lunar-tic!', Apollo-gies for the pun!
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Why did the moon refuse to attend the Apollo reunion? It didn't want any 'space' drama!
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Why did the Apollo astronaut become a musician? Because he wanted to perform in 'solar' concerts!
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I told Apollo I wanted to be successful, and he suggested sacrificing a goat. I mean, I was thinking more along the lines of a career coach, but sure, let's bring out the goats for my LinkedIn profile picture.
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I asked Apollo for advice on improving my memory. He said, 'Just create a monumental statue in your honor.' Yeah, because nothing helps you remember where you left your car keys like a 20-foot-tall marble version of yourself.
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Apollo said he could see my future. I was hoping for winning the lottery, but he predicted that I'd find my keys under the couch. Thanks, Oracle of Delphi, you're a real lifesaver.
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I tried dating someone named Apollo once. Turns out he was more into celestial bodies than my personality. I mean, who knew a guy could be so obsessed with his own sun?
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I met Apollo at a party. He claimed he could make anyone a star. So, I said, 'Great, can you do something about my Instagram followers?' He handed me a telescope and said, 'There, now you're a stargazer.'
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Apollo told me I have the voice of an angel. I was flattered until he clarified that he meant a Greek mythology angel—those terrifying, multi-eyed creatures. I guess I'll stick to texting.
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I told Apollo I wanted to be a better communicator. He handed me a lyre and said, 'Learn to play this.' So now, not only do I struggle with public speaking, but I also have a side gig as a terrible street musician.
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I asked Apollo if he could help me predict the stock market. He said, 'Buy low, sell high.' Thanks, Captain Obvious. I was expecting something like, 'Invest in ambrosia and drachmas.'
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Apollo, the Greek god of prophecy, poetry, and social media algorithms. I asked him for a retweet, and he said, 'Sorry, I only see your future, not your tweets.'
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