bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
Anne is a great friend, but she's the only person I know who can turn a simple recipe into a culinary thriller. Last week, she invited me over for dinner and said she was making spaghetti. Sounds harmless, right? Well, I get to her place, and she's got this fancy apron on, like she's about to compete on a cooking show. She's chopping onions like she's auditioning for a horror movie, tears streaming down her face. I ask her if she needs help, and she says, "No, I'm just emotionally connected to my ingredients." Emotionally connected? Anne, it's spaghetti, not a therapy session! I didn't know if I was eating dinner or participating in an avant-garde art installation.
0
0
So, Anne got a pet recently, a cute little goldfish. Now, most people give their pets normal names like Max or Fluffy, right? Not Anne. She names her goldfish "Sir Bubbles McFins-a-Lot." I swear, this fish has a more elaborate title than most medieval knights. I asked her, "Anne, why such a grandiose name for a fish?" She looks at me with all seriousness and says, "Well, he's a sophisticated fish with refined taste." I didn't know goldfish had taste preferences. I'm pretty sure Sir Bubbles McFins-a-Lot would be just as content being called Swimmy or Bob. But no, Anne's fish needs a name that sounds like it belongs in a royal aquarium.
0
0
You know, I've got this friend, Anne. She's one of those hardcore espresso enthusiasts. You know the type, right? The kind of person who treats their coffee beans like they're the Crown Jewels. I went over to her place the other day, and she's there, eyeing me like I'm about to steal her precious coffee stash. I asked her, "Anne, what's the deal with your coffee obsession? Are you training to become a barista ninja or something?" She looks at me dead serious and says, "No, I just like my coffee like I like my humor - dark and bitter." Well, Anne, I prefer my humor like I prefer my coffee shop Wi-Fi - strong and free, without any weird aftertaste.
0
0
Have you ever been in a car with someone who blindly follows the GPS, no matter what? Yeah, that's Anne. I swear, her GPS could tell her to drive off a cliff, and she'd be like, "Well, Siri said turn right, so here goes nothing!" We were driving around, and the GPS says, "Turn left onto Lakeview Road." Problem is, there's a huge sign that says "Road Closed." I point it out to Anne, and she goes, "Oh, the GPS knows better." We end up in this bizarre detour through a construction site, dodging bulldozers like we're in an action movie. Anne, next time, let's trust our eyes more than Siri, okay? My eyes might not have a soothing British accent, but at least they won't lead us into a pit of doom.
Post a Comment