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Let me tell you about the profound wisdom of seven-year-olds. I asked Jimmy what he wanted to be when he grows up. You know what he said? "I want to be a dinosaur." Now, that's a career choice I can get behind. I mean, who wouldn't want to be a T-Rex? All you have to do is roar and eat, no mortgage payments or existential crises. But then, Jimmy drops some deep life advice on me. He goes, "Uncle Comedian, you should always eat dessert first because what if you run out of room?" That's a seven-year-old genius right there! Forget about retirement plans; I need to rethink my whole life strategy based on Jimmy's dessert philosophy. The kid's onto something, I tell you.
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So, Jimmy and his invisible friend Bob have these epic adventures. I asked Jimmy, "What did you and Bob do today?" He looks at me and says, "We fought a dragon." Impressive, right? But then he adds, "Bob did most of the fighting because, you know, he's invisible, and dragons can't see him." I can't compete with that kind of strategic genius. If I had an invisible friend, I'd send them to do my taxes or negotiate my cable bill. But no, Jimmy's got Bob fighting invisible dragons, and I'm over here struggling with adulting.
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Seven-year-olds have this incredible logic that's both baffling and entertaining. I was trying to explain fractions to Jimmy. You know, the whole concept of cutting something into equal parts. He looks at me dead serious and goes, "Why would I want to cut my pizza into pieces? I just eat it whole!" I mean, who am I to argue with that flawless logic? Forget about math; Jimmy's rewriting the rules of the universe with his pizza-eating strategies. I imagine him in a high-stakes negotiation one day, "I'll agree to share my toys, but don't even think about dividing my chocolate bar.
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You know, I was at my nephew's birthday party the other day. He's seven years old, and his name is Jimmy Jones. Yeah, I know, it sounds like a detective agency for kids. "Jimmy Jones, solving juice box mysteries since 2015!" I tell you, seven-year-olds are a unique breed. They've got this incredible ability to ask questions that stump you. Jimmy comes up to me and goes, "Why is the sky blue?" Now, I haven't thought about that since, well, I was seven. So, I panic and think, "Is it because the universe is sad and crying?" I have no idea, but apparently, that's not the answer he was looking for.
But here's the kicker, folks. Jimmy's got an imaginary friend. I didn't have one when I was his age. My imaginary friend was an imaginary audience, and they didn't laugh either. But Jimmy's friend? Oh, he's got an imaginary friend named Bob. I asked him, "What does Bob look like?" Jimmy says, "He's invisible." Of course, he is! Why wouldn't he be? I can't compete with that. Jimmy's got the ultimate trump card in every argument. "Bob agrees with me, Uncle Comedian!
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