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You know, they say kids need a good naptime to recharge. Back in my day, that meant lying down on those uncomfortable mats and pretending to sleep. But now, apparently, the naptime routine involves a group discussion on the best naptime strategies, led by the resident six-year-old sleep expert. I overheard my cousin's kid saying, "If you really want to maximize your energy, check out the 'Dreamland Optimization' subreddit. They've got all the tips for the perfect nap." I'm just waiting for the day when they start rating pillows on Yelp.
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Remember show-and-tell back in the day? Kids would bring in their favorite toy or maybe a pet rock. Now, it's like a live podcast recording. My neighbor's kid brought in his iPad for show-and-tell. I'm thinking, "What's he gonna do, show us his favorite app?" But no, he starts presenting a slideshow of his favorite memes and explaining the cultural significance behind them. I felt like I was at a TED Talk for first graders. I miss the good old days when show-and-tell was just about trying to impress your crush with your collection of Pokémon cards.
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You know, I remember when recess used to be about playing kickball or trading snacks. Now, apparently, the cool kids are huddled in the corner discussing the latest Reddit threads. My niece came up to me the other day and said, "Uncle, I've got this killer strategy for winning the four-square championship." I'm thinking, "Great, what is it?" She goes, "You gotta follow the 'Circle of Trust' subreddit for all the insider tips." I didn't even know there was a subreddit for four-square. Is there a subreddit for nap time strategies too?
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You ever notice how kids these days are growing up with technology like it's a third parent? I mean, my six-year-old nephew was showing me his favorite subreddit the other day. I didn't even know what Reddit was at six. I was still trying to figure out how to tie my shoes without the bunny ears getting all messed up. So, he's scrolling through this subreddit, and I'm like, "What are you looking at, buddy?" And he goes, "Oh, just some memes from my kindergarten class." Memes from kindergarten? When I was in kindergarten, my biggest concern was whether I could finish my juice box before nap time. These kids are out here meme-ing their juice box experiences. What's next? Emoji nap schedules?
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