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Children's Entertainer
Performing for a group of 4-5 year olds who are the toughest crowd imaginable
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I asked a 5-year-old if they enjoyed my puppet show. They said, "Your puppet needs better material, and your jokes are so last year." Tough crowd, I tell you.
Toy Store Employee
Surviving a day working at a toy store with 4-5 year olds and their parents
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I overheard a 4-year-old convincing their parent to buy a toy: "Mom, this isn't just a toy; it's a life-changing experience. Buy it, and my childhood will be complete." I wish I had that sales pitch.
Birthday Party Planner
Trying to organize a birthday party for a group of 4-5 year olds
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I asked a 4-year-old what theme they wanted for their birthday party. They said, "Existential crisis." Now I'm scrambling to find tiny philosopher costumes.
Preschool Teacher
Dealing with the chaos of a preschool classroom
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Preschoolers have this amazing ability to ask profound questions at the most inconvenient times, like during a game of "Duck Duck Goose." "Teacher, why do we exist?" I don't know, Timmy, I'm just trying not to get goosed right now.
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