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Nostalgic Student
Balancing the pressure of the talent show with the simplicity of childhood
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My friend told me he's going to play the ukulele at the talent show. I didn't even know what a ukulele was. I thought it was a rare tropical disease. 'Oh no, Johnny's got the ukulele, keep your distance!'
Competitive Parents
Turning the talent show into a fierce competition among parents
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I thought I was being creative by making my kid a homemade costume for his magic act. Then I saw another parent roll in with a rented elephant. An actual elephant. Suddenly, my cardboard wizard hat seemed a bit lackluster.
Unimpressed Teacher
Enduring uninspiring acts during the 3rd-grade talent show
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I had a student recite a poem about the beauty of broccoli. I didn't have the heart to tell her that even broccoli doesn't want to hear about the beauty of broccoli.
Overzealous Parent
Trying to live vicariously through their 3rd-grade child's talent show performance
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I hired a choreographer for my kid's dance routine. I'm not saying he's the next Fred Astaire, but let's just say he's got a future in interpretive dance or confusing the neighbors.
Confused Grandparent
Struggling to understand the modern talents showcased in the 3rd-grade talent show
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My grandson told me he's doing a 'viral dance.' I thought, 'Oh no, he caught something at school?' Turns out, it's just a dance everyone's doing on the internet. I'm still trying to figure out why it's viral. Maybe it's contagious?
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