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What did the snail say when it completed a 30-second race? 'I'm on a slow roll!
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What did the watch say to the 30-second timer? 'You're just a brief moment in time!
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Why don't they play hide-and-seek with clocks? Because they're always 'second' to none at finding you in 30 seconds!
30-second decision-making
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I'm trying this new thing where I make all my decisions in 30 seconds or less. It's like speed dating for choices. Should I take that job? 30 seconds. Should I buy that car? 30 seconds. Should I get a tattoo of a dancing giraffe? Well, that one took a minute, but now I'm stuck with Geoffrey twerking on my ankle.
The 30-second workout
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I heard about this revolutionary workout routine – it's called the 30-second workout. You do one intense exercise for 30 seconds, and then you spend the next 30 minutes catching your breath and regretting your life choices. It's perfect for people who want to feel the burn without actually burning any calories.
The 30-second diet
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I tried this new diet where you're only allowed to eat something if it's been on the floor for less than 30 seconds. My kitchen has never been cleaner, and I've never been more malnourished. My doctor asked about my diet, and I said, Well, I've mastered the art of the 30-second stare-down with a slice of pizza.
30-second fame
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I heard there's something called the 30-second fame rule now. You do something outrageous for 30 seconds, and suddenly you're a sensation on the internet. I tried it, but all I got was a 30-second ban from the grocery store for riding a shopping cart like it was a mechanical bull. Apparently, they don't appreciate my quest for viral fame.
30-second weather forecast
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I saw this new weather app that gives you a 30-second forecast. Because who has time for a whole minute of weather predictions? Today's forecast: It's hot. Tomorrow's forecast: Still hot. Next week: Hot with a chance of regrets for not buying more sunscreen.
The 30-second rule
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You know, they say there's a 30-second rule when it comes to picking up food from the floor. I don't know about you, but in my house, that rule doesn't apply. It's more like a 30-minute negotiation with my immune system. Come on, buddy, you can handle a little dirt. It's character-building!
30-second wisdom
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They say wisdom comes with age, but I've condensed all my wisdom into 30-second soundbites. Eat dessert first. Never trust a cat with a poker face. If life gives you lemons, make a margarita. I like to call it the Cliff Notes version of a life well-lived.
30-second memory
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They say the average person has a 30-second attention span. I think mine is more like 30 milliseconds. I walked into a room the other day, forgot why I was there, and just stood in the middle like a confused penguin. Thirty seconds later, I remembered I went in for my keys. By then, I had already ordered a pizza thinking that was my original plan.
The 30-second relationship talk
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My girlfriend told me we needed to have a serious talk about our relationship. I suggested we try the 30-second version. I love you. Do you love me? Great, let's get ice cream. It turns out, relationships are a bit more complicated than a half-minute conversation.
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