4 Jokes For Your So Dark

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Apr 14 2025

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You ever get that one friend who says, "You're so dark"? I mean, come on, it's not my fault I have the soul of a brooding poet trapped in the body of a stand-up comedian. I embrace the darkness, you know? I walk into a room, and it's like I bring my own shadows with me. People have nightlights; I have a night-aura.
I was at a party the other day, and someone told me, "You're so dark." I looked around and said, "Well, it is nighttime. What did you expect, a sunshine parade?" But seriously, being dark is not a bad thing. I'm just preparing for the inevitable power outage. While you're fumbling for candles, I'll be like, "Welcome to my world."
I love scaring people unintentionally. I'll be at a family gathering, and they're all like, "Can you lighten up a bit?" I'm like, "Sure, let me just grab my flashlight... or maybe not.
Ever been told, "You're so dark"? It's like, "Thank you, Captain Obvious. I wasn't aware of my own aesthetic." But let me tell you, the dark side has its perks.
I was at a restaurant, and the waiter said, "We have mood lighting tonight." I replied, "Oh, don't worry, I brought my own mood—existential crisis with a side of sarcasm."
People think being dark means I'm always serious, but that's not true. I'm just a master at finding humor in the abyss. I mean, if you can't laugh at the void, what can you laugh at? So, to everyone who says I'm dark, I say, "Welcome to the comedy twilight zone. It's a bit shady, but the laughs are killer.
So, someone said, "You're so dark." I took it as a compliment and decided to start my own glow-in-the-dark comedy show. Picture this: a room full of people wearing those glow sticks as necklaces, and I'm up on stage looking like the human embodiment of a supernova.
I told my friend, "You know how people have black light parties? Well, I have a 'black soul' party. Bring your deepest, most existential thoughts and let's make them glow!"
But seriously, being dark doesn't mean I can't be illuminating. I've got jokes that shine brighter than a lighthouse in a comedy storm. You thought dark humor was a niche? Wait till you see it in neon.
You're so dark." It's like they caught me red-handed, lurking in the shadows of humor. Dark humor is my gateway drug to comedy. I'm sorry, but if you've never laughed at something you shouldn't, have you really lived?
I told my therapist about my dark sense of humor, and he said, "Laughter is the best medicine." I replied, "Great, now I'm overdosing on hilarity." They say laughter is contagious, but apparently, so is darkness. I'm like the Typhoid Mary of comedy clubs.
I'm convinced that someday my tombstone will read, "Here lies the comedian who died doing what he loved—making people uncomfortable with inappropriate jokes.

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