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Why did the spy bring a ladder to the secret meeting? He heard it was the 'height' of classified information!
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I asked the time-traveler from World War II about the experience. He said it was a blast from the past!
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Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the battlefield? He heard the war was getting a bit 'elevated'!
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Why did the submarine blush during the battle? It saw the ocean's bottom!
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Why did the soldier bring a pencil to the war? In case he needed to draw his weapon!
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What did the sergeant say to the private who couldn't stop making jokes? 'You're a real 'laugh'-tenant!
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Why did the war correspondent always carry a backpack? He wanted to be prepared for 'news on the front'!
World War Two - Where GPS Would've Been Handy
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You know, if World War Two had GPS, maybe Hitler wouldn't have invaded Russia in winter. I can just picture his GPS saying, In 500 meters, make a U-turn. Trust me, you don't want to go to Stalingrad right now.
World War Two - The Original Netflix Series
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World War Two had everything – drama, action, betrayal. It was basically the original Netflix series, but with a much higher budget and way too many explosions. Spielberg wishes he could direct a show with that much chaos.
World War Two - The Original Avengers Assemble
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World War Two was like the original Avengers movie, but with less spandex and more serious mustaches. I can picture Winston Churchill as Captain America, FDR as Iron Man in a wheelchair, and Stalin as the unpredictable Hulk. They even had their own villain, Hitler, who was basically the Red Skull with a terrible comb-over.
World War Two - The Battle of the Bulging History Books
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World War Two – it's the reason history textbooks have back problems. They're carrying the weight of all those battles, strategies, and war heroes. I wouldn't be surprised if one day my kid comes home with a history book saying, Sorry, Dad, my backpack has PTSD from World War Two.
World War Two - When Allies Were Like Squad Goals
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The Allies during World War Two were the original squad goals. You had the USA, the UK, and the Soviet Union teaming up like the coolest clique in high school. They were basically the Mean Girls of international diplomacy – except instead of gossip, they were spreading democracy.
World War Two - The Original Escape Room
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World War Two was like the world's most intense escape room. The Allies were locked in with Hitler, and they were like, Okay, how do we get out of here without letting him win? Spoiler alert: they aced it.
World War Two - The Original Twitter Beef
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Back in World War Two, countries didn't have Twitter to start a beef, so they just invaded each other. It's like, instead of sending a strongly-worded tweet, they sent tanks and soldiers. The only thing trending was destruction.
World War Two - The Original Social Distancing
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You think social distancing is tough? During World War Two, countries were practicing social distancing with bullets and bombs. Stay six feet apart or get blown to smithereens – that's a whole new level.
World War Two - The Fashion Police Nightmare
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World War Two had some terrible fashion choices. I mean, those Nazi uniforms – who approved that? Did they hire the fashion police to design those things? Hey, Heinrich Himmler, those SS uniforms are a crime against humanity, but not in the way you intended.
World War Two - The Ultimate Family Feud
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You know, World War Two was like the world's biggest family feud. Europe was just one big dysfunctional family, and they couldn't settle their differences without dragging everyone into their drama. I can imagine Uncle Hitler storming into the room, yelling, I want Poland! And then Aunt Britain and Uncle France are like, Oh no, you're not taking Poland!
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