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Oompa Loompas
Job Satisfaction
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I asked an Oompa Loompa how he stays so energetic all the time. He said, "Well, besides the chocolate, we have mandatory dance breaks. It's in the employment contract—work hard, dance harder. No wonder they're always so in sync!
Candy Critics
Discriminating Taste
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I asked Willy Wonka if he ever considers a candy redesign. He said, "Why fix what's not broken?" I said, "Well, if your candy was a car, it would be a chocolate-covered lemon.
Willy Wonka
OSHA Compliance
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Willy Wonka once told me he's a firm believer in magic, especially when it comes to his elevator. You push a button, and it can go up, down, sideways, even to different dimensions. I told him, "Willy, that's not magic; that's just an elevator malfunctioning. You might want to get that checked.
Golden Ticket Winners
Unmet Expectations
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The golden ticket promised a world of pure imagination. But when I got there, all I found was a crazy guy with a top hat and a bunch of Oompa Loompas. I thought, "Is this the factory or the set of a psychedelic music video?
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