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Have you noticed that women over 70 suddenly become adrenaline junkies? I was at the park, and I saw this group of grandmas forming what looked like a biker gang. They were on their scooters, racing each other and doing wheelies! I asked one of them, "What's the rush?" She looked at me and said, "We're forming a thrill-seekers club. Last one to the pharmacy buys the aspirin!" Forget about bingo nights; they're into speed and competition now. It's like they're training for the Senior Olympics.
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Have you ever tried arguing with a woman over 70? It's like debating with the queen of sass. I got into a disagreement with my grandma the other day. I said, "Grandma, you can't just do whatever you want!" She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Sweetie, I'm over 70. I've earned the right to do whatever the heck I want. It's in the rulebook – check page 103, right after 'How to Knit a Cozy for Your Toaster.'
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You know you've reached the golden age when you start getting rebellious grandmas. I met this woman over 70 the other day, and she told me she just got a tattoo. Yeah, a tattoo! I asked her, "What did you get?" She said, "I got my grocery list tattooed on my arm so I don't forget it." I mean, talk about practical ink! But seriously, imagine her at the supermarket, lifting her sleeve, trying to decipher if it's 1% or 2% milk. The cashier must think she's some kind of dairy gangster.
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Let me tell you about the woman over 70 I know who just joined Instagram. Yeah, Instagram! I asked her why, and she said, "I wanted to keep up with my grandkids." Well, now she's keeping up with them so much that she comments on every photo. Her comments are classic though, like, "Dear, why is your friend wearing such short pants? Is it laundry day?" She's like a digital detective, uncovering the mysteries of the younger generation one Instagram post at a time. It's like CSI: Social Media – starring Grandma.
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