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The Competitive Teenager
Trying to outslide friends in the coolest way possible
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Teenagers at the water park have this unspoken competition about who can make the biggest splash. It's like, "Bro, my splash was so big, they're considering renaming the slide after me – call it 'Mount Splashmore.'
The Water Slide Designer
Dealing with bizarre design requests and complaints
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I had a client who wanted a water slide shaped like a dragon. I said, "Sure, but fair warning – dragons don't come with lifeguards. Swim at your own peril.
The Water Park Employee
Dealing with unruly water slide riders
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My job is to enforce safety rules on the water slide. It's like being a lifeguard, but instead of saving lives, I'm saving dignity – one wedgie at a time.
The Tourist
Navigating unfamiliar water slide etiquette
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I asked a local about the best way to enjoy the water slide. They said, "Go with the flow." I thought they meant the water; turns out, it was the line – you're just stuck in it.
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