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Using very big words is like trying to play chess with a pigeon. No matter how strategic your moves are, they're just going to knock over the pieces, poop on the board, and strut around like they won.
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Trying to impress people with very big words is a lot like wearing a tuxedo to a fast-food restaurant. Sure, you look fancy, but everyone else is just trying to figure out why you're making it so complicated to order a burger.
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I was reading a book with very big words, and I felt like a linguistic acrobat. I was flipping through the pages, trying to stick the landing on each polysyllabic word, only to realize I had no idea what the paragraph was about.
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You ever notice how using very big words in a conversation is like bringing a flamethrower to a birthday candle? I just wanted to discuss the weather, not give a TED Talk on meteorological phenomenology.
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People who drop very big words in casual conversation are like human thesauruses. You're just talking about your weekend, and they're unleashing an expansive lexicon, leaving you to wonder if they're reciting Shakespeare or ordering a pizza.
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I tried using very big words in a job interview once. The interviewer asked, "Can you describe your strengths?" I replied, "I possess an unparalleled proclivity for efficacious and perspicacious problem-solving." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. Turns out, they just wanted to know if I could make a decent cup of coffee.
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I attempted to write a love letter using very big words. The result? My crush thought I was either a genius or having a severe spelling bee-induced meltdown. Either way, it wasn't the romantic masterpiece I envisioned.
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It's impressive when someone can seamlessly incorporate very big words into a sentence. Meanwhile, I'm over here struggling to remember if "antidisestablishmentarianism" is a political ideology or just a really long word.
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Have you ever been in a conversation where someone drops a very big word, and you nod along like you understand, but in your head, you're thinking, "Is this Scrabble or a chat about the grocery list?
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