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Have you ever received a text message that looks like it was written in some secret code? My friend sent me a message the other day, and I was like, "Did your cat walk across the keyboard, or are you just trying to communicate with dolphins?" I had to call him and ask for a translation. It's like we need a decoder ring just to understand each other. Maybe emojis are the universal language we've all been waiting for. I mean, who needs words when you can express your entire life story with a smiling poop emoji?
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Let's talk about auto-correct. It's like having a friend who's constantly trying to finish your sentences but has no idea what you're talking about. I sent a text to my boss the other day, and instead of saying, "I'll be there in five minutes," it changed to "I'll be there in five llamas." I mean, sure, llamas are great, but they're not known for their punctuality. Now I'm picturing my boss waiting for me with a confused look on his face, surrounded by a herd of llamas. Thanks, auto-correct, for turning my everyday messages into a llama drama.
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You ever get those CAPTCHAs online where you have to prove you're not a robot? It's like, "Please unscramble these letters." I mean, come on! If I wanted to unscramble things, I'd go do a jigsaw puzzle. I'm just trying to buy concert tickets, not decode ancient hieroglyphics. And they give you, like, three seconds to figure it out. I'm sitting there squinting at my screen like I'm deciphering the Rosetta Stone. Is this a Q or an O? Is that an L or an I? I feel like I'm on a game show, and the clock is ticking down. "Will he unscramble the word and prove he's human? Or will he be forever banished to the land of forgotten CAPTCHAs?
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Passwords, oh passwords. They're supposed to keep our information safe, but half the time, they're more like brain teasers. I tried changing my password the other day, and it was like I was creating a new language. Uppercase, lowercase, numbers, symbols – it's like I'm trying to unlock the secrets of the universe. And then they tell you it has to be at least eight characters long. Eight characters? I can barely remember my own phone number! At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if the secret to world peace is hidden in the combination of my Netflix password.
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