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Tyrone started a garden but got mad when the plants wouldn't stop photosynthesizing. He said, 'Can't you leaf me alone?
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Why did Tyrone bring a map to the party? In case he got lost in conversation!
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Tyrone tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was just a waist of time!
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Why did Tyrone bring a ladder to the comedy club? He wanted to take his humor to the next level!
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Tyrone's favorite computer key? The space bar. He says it keeps him down to Earth!
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Why did Tyrone bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
Tyrone's Cooking Adventures
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I went over to Tyrone's house for dinner, and he said he was cooking something exotic. Turns out, by exotic, he meant ordering takeout from a different country. I didn't know Tyrone had a passport for his delivery apps.
Tyrone's Pet Philosophy
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Tyrone got a pet fish and named it One Second. When I asked why, he said, Because everyone says goldfish have a three-second memory. Now I can say I have a pet that lives in the moment. Well, at least for one second.
Tyrone's Superpower
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Tyrone claims he has a superpower—the ability to find the squeakiest shopping cart in any grocery store. It's like his spidey senses are tuned to the frequency of annoyance. Forget Avengers, we've got Cartman!
Tyrone's Social Media Guru
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Tyrone thinks he's a social media guru. He told me his strategy for getting more followers: Post random things at 3 AM when everyone is asleep. I tried it and got three followers—two were insomniacs, and the third was a raccoon.
Tyrone's Texting Skills
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Tyrone's texting skills are next level. He sends voice messages for everything, even one-word replies. You get a message notification, and you're like, Oh great, Tyrone sent me another novel. You press play, and it's just him saying, Yep.
Tyrone's Thrill-Seeking
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Tyrone claims he's a thrill-seeker. His idea of an adrenaline rush? Trying to assemble IKEA furniture without looking at the instructions. It's like a high-stakes game of Jenga with a side of Swedish frustration.
Tyrone's Fitness Journey
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Tyrone joined a gym recently, and he's so committed to his fitness journey. The only exercise he does consistently is lifting the remote to change channels. His commitment is truly inspiring—inspiring me to order more pizza.
Tyrone's GPS
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You ever notice how Tyrone's GPS has a unique way of giving directions? It's like, In 500 feet, make a left turn. In 499 feet, reconsider your life choices. I didn't know my GPS had a built-in therapist.
Tyrone's DIY Projects
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Tyrone decided to take up DIY projects at home. Last week, he proudly showed me his handmade bookshelf. It was so crooked; I thought it was modern art. I asked him if it was intentional, and he said, Yeah, it's anti-gravity. Books won't fall if they have no idea where down is.
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