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Tutorials have become the new rulers of our lives. They dictate what we should know, how we should do things, and when we should do them. It's like living in a tutorial tyranny. I tried to write a grocery list the other day, and my phone was like, "Do you need help with that? Grocery List Writing Tutorial: 45 minutes of your life you'll never get back." I'm just standing there, thinking, "I've been making grocery lists since I learned how to hold a pen, thank you very much."
And don't even get me started on fitness tutorials. "Congratulations on breathing! Now, let's move on to the advanced tutorial: Walking 101."
I miss the good old days when we learned things by trial and error, not by enduring a 20-minute tutorial on "How to Open a Door Without Embarrassing Yourself.
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Have you ever fallen down the rabbit hole of tutorials? You start with something innocent like "How to Tie a Bow Tie," and before you know it, you're knee-deep in a tutorial about quantum physics, questioning the nature of reality. I was trying to fix a leaky faucet the other day. Simple, right? So, I go on YouTube, and suddenly I'm watching a 30-minute tutorial titled "Plumbing 101: Theoretical Foundations of Faucet Repair."
I didn't sign up for a PhD in plumbing! I just wanted to stop the drip-drip sound that's haunting my dreams. But now, thanks to the tutorial overload, I can explain the molecular structure of water, but my faucet is still leaking.
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You ever feel guilty about skipping a tutorial? It's like they designed those things to make you feel like a terrible person if you dare to close that "How to Boil Water" tutorial without watching the entire 10-minute video. I was watching a cooking tutorial the other day, and the chef was so charismatic, so full of passion. He's like, "Welcome to the culinary journey of a lifetime!" And I'm just sitting there, thinking, "Dude, I just want to make spaghetti, not embark on a quest to Mordor."
But they guilt-trip you with those puppy-dog eyes, like, "Are you sure you want to skip this tutorial? You might burn down your kitchen, disappoint your ancestors, and ruin the entire human history of pasta making."
Now, every time I try to make something without a tutorial, I hear Gordon Ramsay in my head, calling me an idiot sandwich. Thanks, Internet, for turning cooking into a guilt trip.
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You ever notice how everything nowadays comes with a tutorial? I bought a toaster the other day, and it came with a tutorial. A toaster! I mean, what's next? A tutorial on how to breathe? "Step 1: Inhale, Step 2: Exhale. Congratulations, you're now an expert breather." I swear, these tutorials are getting out of hand. I'm just waiting for the day my fridge sends me a notification saying, "Hey, it's time for your monthly refrigerator management tutorial. Make sure to organize those veggies properly!"
And don't get me started on those online tutorials. I decided to learn how to tie a tie online. I mean, it's a simple knot, right? But no, the tutorial was like, "Welcome to the advanced world of neckwear origami. Step 1: Channel your inner sailor. Step 2: Perform a triple backflip with the tie. Step 3: Pray to the tie gods for a perfect Windsor knot."
I just wanted to look presentable, not audition for the Cirque du Soleil of fashion.
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