4 Jokes For Toothbrush

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 21 2024

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I've got a dilemma, folks. My dentist told me to change my toothbrush every three months. Fair enough, right? But here's the problem – I can't remember when I last changed it. It's like playing a game of dental Russian roulette every time I pick it up.
And then there's the confusion at the store. Have you seen the toothbrush aisle lately? It's like a dental wonderland. Soft bristle, hard bristle, angled bristle, bristle with wings – I don't know what to choose. I stand there, staring at the toothbrush wall, feeling like I'm in a toothbrush dating show. "Will it be love at first brush, or will I end up with a bristle heartbreak?" Life's tough when your biggest decision is picking a toothbrush.
You know, I recently found myself in a relationship with my toothbrush. Yeah, we've been together for quite some time now, and let me tell you, it's been a rocky relationship. I mean, I think we need couples counseling. Every morning, it's this intense dance we do in the bathroom. I pick up the toothbrush, it's like, "Are we doing this again? Another day of scrubbing?" And the toothpaste is just sitting there, judging us like a toothpaste therapist.
And then there's the water faucet, always getting involved. Sometimes it's too hot, sometimes it's too cold. I'm just standing there, toothbrush in hand, caught in this dental love triangle. It's like a toothbrush tango, you know? And the worst part is, I can never remember if I've already brushed my teeth. So, I stand there in the morning, staring at my toothbrush, wondering, "Have we danced yet, or is this our first tango of the day?
My toothbrush has this rebellious streak. I swear, every time I put it back in its holder, it's plotting its escape. I'll wake up in the morning, and the toothbrush is on the bathroom floor, like it had a wild party with the dental floss and mouthwash. I'm convinced it's leading a secret life when I'm not around.
I tried talking to it, you know, giving it the "brush" talk. I said, "Listen, we're a team. You can't just go off on your own." But it doesn't listen. It's a toothbrush with attitude. I imagine it hanging out with other rebellious toothbrushes, sharing stories about how they escaped their holders and caused havoc in people's bathrooms. I just want a toothbrush that stays put, is that too much to ask?
Have you seen these high-tech toothbrushes nowadays? I mean, my toothbrush is so old school; it probably has a pension plan. But these new ones, they've got Bluetooth, app connectivity, and God knows what else. I just want my toothbrush to clean my teeth, not send me notifications about my brushing habits.
And the pressure sensors! Apparently, if you press too hard, it sends a warning. It's like having a dental drill sergeant yelling at you for not brushing properly. "Soldier, you call that a circular motion? Drop and give me 20 more strokes!" I don't need my toothbrush judging me. I just want it to do its job without turning into a dental personal trainer.

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