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The Time-Strapped Professional
Racing against the clock to use the toilet seat
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As a time-strapped professional, my goal in the bathroom is to set a personal best for the quickest trip from door to toilet to door again. It's not about the destination; it's about the journey... or lack thereof.
The Germaphobe
The fear of germs on the toilet seat
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Germaphobes treat a public toilet seat like it's the throne of a microscopic kingdom. They're not sitting; they're negotiating diplomatic relations with the germs.
The DIY Enthusiast
Contemplating the cleanliness of the toilet seat and considering a DIY solution
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Forget about Pinterest-worthy bathrooms; I'm all about survivalist bathrooms. MacGyver would be proud of the ingenious ways I've tackled unsanitary situations with nothing more than determination and a roll of toilet paper.
The Acrobatic Expert
Navigating the precarious task of balancing on a toilet seat
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If there was an event in the bathroom Olympics called "Toilet Seat Gymnastics," I'd have a gold medal by now. My routine involves twists, turns, and a dismount that would make any gymnast jealous.
The Conspiracy Theorist
Believing there's a secret society controlling the cleanliness of toilet seats
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I'm not saying it's aliens, but have you ever used a toilet seat that felt like it was beamed down from a spaceship? I'm pretty sure the government is experimenting with extraterrestrial sanitation technology in certain public restrooms.
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