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I tried to build a house in thirty seconds. It ended up being a 'shelter in place' – more like a doghouse, really.
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What did one stopwatch say to the other? 'I'll race you to the punchline, but only for thirty seconds!
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Why did the scarecrow get promoted in thirty seconds? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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What's a clock's favorite movie? 'Forrest Tick' – it's about running time!
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