5 Jokes About The Pastor

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Jun 24 2024

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The Pastor's Overzealous Assistant

Misinterpreting the pastor's instructions
The pastor asked for a hip and trendy sermon title. I went with "Holy Guacamole: Avo-Covenant with God." I think I took the whole "guac for the spirit" thing a bit too far.

The Pastor's Pet Parrot

The parrot accidentally repeats inappropriate things heard in the pastor's office
Last Sunday, the pastor gave a passionate sermon about love and forgiveness, and the parrot chimed in, "Amen! Preach it, brother!" But during the offering prayer, it shouted, "Cash only, folks!" I think we've got a financial adviser in feathers.

The Congregation's Grandma

Grandma misinterprets modern slang and trends
So, Grandma recently joined Instagram. She saw someone post "OMG" and thought it was a new acronym for "Oh My God," but it turns out they were just expressing surprise, not planning the next church event.

The Church Gossip

Spreading rumors unintentionally
So, the pastor wanted to modernize the church, and now there's a rumor that we're installing a drive-thru confessional. Because nothing says repentance like ordering forgiveness with a side of fries.

The Pastor's Teenage Son

Trying to navigate adolescence while living under the watchful eyes of the congregation
Dating is a nightmare when your dad is the pastor. I asked a girl out, and she said yes, but only if my dad doesn't give a sermon about purity for the next month. It's like negotiating a peace treaty.

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