20 Jokes About The Bears Football Team

Puns

Updated on: Nov 15 2024

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Why did the bear go to football practice? To work on his 'bear-y' impressive moves!
What did the bear say to the running back? 'I hope you have a 'paw-some' run-in with the end zone!
Why did the bear refuse to play in the rain? He didn't want to be 'bear-y' wet!
What do you call a bear who can kick a field goal? A 'bear-foot' kicker!
Why did the bear join the football team? Because he wanted to get a 'bear hug' after every touchdown!
Why did the bear bring a ladder to the football game? Because he heard the championship was up for grabs!
What do you call a bear who loves football? A fanimal!
Why was the bear so good at football? He had the perfect 'paw-ss' defense!
Why did the bear bring a pencil to the football game? To draw up some 'paw-some' plays!
Why did the bear become a coach? He knew all about 'paw-sitions' on the field!

The Bear Minimum

You know, I was watching the Bears football team, and I couldn't help but think they're setting new standards. I mean, they're not just losing; they're achieving the bear minimum. It's like they're saying, Hey, at least we're consistent, right?

Bear Grylls Coaching Style

I heard the Bears are considering hiring Bear Grylls as their new coach. I guess surviving in the wilderness is excellent preparation for coaching a football team that's constantly in a state of emergency. Maybe he'll teach them how to forage for touchdowns.

Bear-y Slow Progress

The Bears are like that one friend who's always on a diet but never loses weight. No matter how much they promise improvement, you look at the end of the season, and it's like, Did you even try, or were those just empty bear-y slow jogging laps?

The Unbearable Offense

Watching the Bears play offense is like watching a bear trying to dance ballet – it's awkward, uncoordinated, and everyone in the audience is wondering why they signed up for this show. Seriously, it's the only time you'll see a quarterback trying to avoid tackles with interpretive dance moves.

Hibernation Tactics

The Bears football team is so strategic; they've mastered the art of hibernation during games. I mean, who needs to win when you can just take a cozy nap on the field and call it a day? It's like watching a team of professional nappers.

Bear-y Confusing Strategy

I tried understanding the Bears' game strategy, but it's more confusing than trying to explain the concept of time to a bear. It's like they're playing 4D chess while the rest of us are still figuring out checkers. Maybe their playbook is written in bear code.

Bear-ing Witness

Watching the Bears play is like bear-ing witness to a tragic comedy. It's so heartbreaking that it becomes hilarious. I'm starting to think the team's mascot should be a sad clown bear.

The Bear Necessities

The Bears football team is all about embracing the bear necessities of life. Winning? Nah. Scoring points? Optional. It's like they read The Jungle Book and thought, Yep, that's our playbook – keep it simple, keep it bare.

Bear With Me

Every season, Bears fans say, Bear with me, this is our year. And every season, it's like waiting for a bear to learn how to ride a unicycle – entertaining in theory, but you're not holding your breath. At least with the Bears, you get the bear essentials of disappointment.

Bear-y Bad Luck

You ever notice how the Bears always seem to have the worst luck? It's like they're carrying around a black cat and walking under ladders before every game. I'm starting to think their pre-game ritual involves breaking mirrors and opening umbrellas indoors.

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