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Terry Crews is so positive; he could probably turn a haunted house into a comedy club. Ghosts be floating around, trying to scare him, and he's just like, "Boo? More like 'Boo-hoo' because your material is dead, my ghostly friend!
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Have you seen Terry Crews in those Old Spice commercials? The man can make anything sound epic. I want him narrating my life. "And here comes John, conquering the mountain of unfolded laundry, armed with nothing but determination and a questionable sense of fashion.
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I bet Terry Crews doesn't need a GPS. He just flexes his biceps, and his muscles guide him to the right destination. Meanwhile, I'm over here arguing with Siri because I missed a turn while trying to open a bag of chips.
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You ever notice how Terry Crews is basically living proof that muscles can be their own form of charisma? I mean, the man flexes and suddenly I'm ready to join a gym, start lifting heavy things, and maybe audition for an action movie. It's like, forget charm school, sign me up for bicep boot camp!
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Terry Crews is so ripped; I bet his laundry has muscles. Like, his socks probably do push-ups while waiting for their turn in the washing machine. My laundry just sits there, looking at me like, "Maybe next time, buddy.
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Terry Crews could probably sell ice to an Eskimo. I mean, if he came to my door with a clipboard and a smile, I'd probably end up buying a timeshare in Antarctica. "Sure, Terry, I'll take two igloos and a polar bear, why not?
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Terry Crews hosting a game show is like having a motivational speaker give out prizes. "Congratulations, you've just won a brand new car! Now go out there and conquer the highway, my friend!
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Terry Crews is so energetic and positive; I swear his morning routine involves chugging a gallon of sunshine. I'm over here hitting the snooze button for the fifteenth time, and he's probably already bench-pressing a car. I just want to know where I can buy some of that relentless enthusiasm in bulk.
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You know, Terry Crews is proof that laughter is the best workout. Seriously, have you seen him crack up on those comedy shows? It's like a full-body ab workout. Forget the gym; I'm switching to stand-up for my fitness routine.
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