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I told my landlord I couldn't afford the rent, and he said, 'Don't worry, I have faith in your checkered past.
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My landlord said I can't keep pets in the apartment. But joke's on him, I've had a rent-a-cat for weeks!
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My landlord said, 'This is a no-smoking property.' I said, 'Don't worry, I only smoke when my rent's on fire!
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I asked my landlord if I could paint the walls. He said, 'Sure, but remember, walls have ears.' I replied, 'Then I'll use a brush, not a whisper.
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My landlord said, 'No parties allowed!' I said, 'Don't worry, I don't need a party to have a disco in my heart.
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