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Shopping online is like participating in a silent auction, but for your bank account. You bid with a click, and before you know it, you've been swindled into buying things you didn't even know you wanted. Thanks, one-click checkout!
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Have you ever noticed how printers are the ultimate con artists? They pretend to be out of ink just to make you buy more. It's like they're saying, "You've been swindled, now dance to the printer's cartridge cha-cha.
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Going to the grocery store is like entering a maze designed to make you buy things you don't need. It's a conspiracy, a plot to make you feel both lost and swindled at the same time. I just wanted milk, not a lifetime supply of coconut water.
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You ever notice how buying a mattress feels like you're in a secret society? You walk into the store, the salesperson whispers, "This one's got memory foam, but it won't remember you got swindled on the price.
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I tried to assemble a piece of furniture the other day, and it felt like solving a mystery without any clues. It's the only time I wished for a detective to show up and reveal who swindled me into thinking I could be a DIY expert.
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Signing up for a free trial is the adult version of getting a puppy. It's all fun and excitement until you realize you've been swindled into a long-term commitment, and canceling feels like breaking up with a clingy ex.
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Why is it that when you buy a bag of chips, you're basically paying for a party for air molecules? It's the only time I willingly get swindled and enjoy the crispiness of disappointment.
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Have you ever noticed that whenever you order food delivery, the delivery time is just a suggestion? It's like a game, where the delivery person tries to see how much patience they can swindle out of you before your pizza arrives.
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Getting a phone contract is like making a deal with a genie. "Sure, you can have unlimited data, but your wallet will vanish into thin air." It's the only wish where you end up feeling swindled.
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